Testy

Today, I was driving home when all of a sudden my radio stopped working, thinking this to be a minor problem I kept driving towards home. All of a sudden my car just died. The fan was still blowing but the poor little dude just couldn't turn over.

I was rational. I turned on my hazards and called a tow truck as quick as could be that was recommended by the service shop in my hood. It was soon very obvious that nobody could see my hazard lights so I did my best to waive them around. I started to get super anxious and all of a sudden turn to negative thoughts. I let a few slip out in the form of text messages.I didn't break my glasses or throw things, or freak out though.

Then, a really nice police woman stopped and helped me, we got my car to the side of the road and she parked behind me with her lights on until the tow truck arrived. I instantly felt better once she arrived and started thinking more positively about the situation. I started to think of strategies for the worse case scenario, and once I had come up with a few solutions I stopped trying so hard to invent problems I didn't yet have.

The tow truck driver was super sweet and took me right to the shop. The air conditioning in his truck was like a reminder that things would be ok. After being trapped in the tinted windows with the sun beating down on my face the relief of the cold seemed bigger than the financial stress or worries about how I was going to get to work the next day. .

After telling the cute boy at the garage what happened to my car I went home. I should know more on Wednesday. Normally I would sulk and worry, but instead I asked my neighbor to keep me company so I wouldn't get all wound up. We talked for a few minutes and then I walked down to Smith and had two beers and an order of fried green tomatoes.

While there I used google maps to find out how I was getting to work the next day. It wasn't nearly as bad as it was when I had looked it up on the metro website. I will have to take two busses and the trip will take about an hour. Not horrible, and it is summer, and I don't have class. So really not the end of the world.

We will see if we keep my broken car, or upgrade in a few months, or whatever...but, I didn't spaz out hardly at all.

Running

I'm glad I rode it out. When I am willing to look for it, I have quite a bit going for me. The last time I flipped out was at the doctor's office in May when I had to get my blood drawn. I seem to be able to chill out now. I think it is running.

Running has always been a part of my life, either doing it or wishing I was doing it. It seems to steady me. It is like hardcore meditation time if that is what you need, or it can be imagination playtime fun land with music and dancing. Lately it has been music and dancing, I think that is all that vitamin d I have been getting... From the sun dude. At any rate running has always been a calming force. I think I need to just commit to never ever stop.

It also makes me feel pretty and like a badass. I like to give myself really girly rewards running. When I had ran consistently an average of three times a week for four weeks, I got a pedicure and a manicure. My big goal is fancy jeans from Nordstrom when I have a healthy bmi.

My route right now is heavy on hills and the heat has me sweating, but I seem to be abble to hustle through it and have been slowly adding more. I need to like drive to greenlake and do it twice, or go with sara at work or something. Because If I want to get leaner I need to go long. The hills are helping me build muscle fast and burn more fat, which is good because I was starting to look like the state puff marshmallow man. However, I don't want my thigh muscles to get all big which they will if I keep doing hills like crazy.

I can't wait to go tomorrow.